The world has a confusing way of describing love. Some think of love as a feeling, and this feeling often is confused with the feelings we get when our libido is activated. It also gets confused with feelings of infatuation. But when we look into linguistics and understand the origins of some words, we can see that the love Jesus talks about is not necessarily a feeling.
In John 13:34, Jesus gives his disciples a commandment to love one another, and he adds “as I have loved you.” The example Jesus gave is the way his disciples are called to love, not with sexual feeling nor infatuation.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Scripture quotation is from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), ©2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Paul’s letters, translated from Greek, use the word ἀγάπη, or “agápi” which has become known to mean unconditional love, yet modern translations state that ἀγάπη is endearing or affectionate, which includes feelings.
In John 21:15, Jesus asks Peter if Peter loves him (ἀγαπᾷς με, “agapas me”). John wrote that Peter answered using the words, φιλῶ σε (“filó se”), which is the same root as φιλεῖ (“fileí”) used in John 5:20 when Jesus explains that the Father loves the Son. According to John, Peter had a familial affection toward Jesus, like an affection between a father and a son. Some may say it’s a brotherly love, yet the only places in the New Testament that describes loving a brother uses ἀγάπη (agape, as we transcribe it into an English form). In fact, 2 Peter 1:7 distinguishes brotherly affection (or philadelphia) from agape love.
Jesus showed us a love that is deeper than the love among family, a love that leads us to be willing to die for each other. When we practice the love described in 1 Corinthians 13, we practice the kind of love Jesus gave.
Another translation of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reads:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
I heard a preacher teach how to put this love into practice: Put your name in place of “love” in this scripture and wherever you fall short is what to work on to improve your love of others. Can you say truthfully, “I am patient”? We can all grow in patience. When we learn to be like the rest of the passage (at least some of the time) is when we begin to understand the love of God.